Usually when I haven't blogged in a while it's because my kids have NOT been very cute and I'm too darn frustrated with them to feel like writing about them, and this time is no different...except that it's 11:30 PM (way past my usual bedtime of 9 PM) and I can't sleep because I'm so bugged by what happened today. I had just been talking to my sister about her 'Love and Logic' class earlier today, getting some good advice, when Heavenly Father must have decided, "Ok. Now let's see if you were paying attention." Then came the tantrum of all tantrums, compliments of Jonah. I should have known not to take the kids to the grocery store at 4 in the afternoon where all three of them were running without naps, but it was actually Jonah's idea. He saw in the ad that pineapple was on sale for "2 bucks" and how can you say no to that? Well, maybe I'm a sucker. I just thought it was cute and I did actually need produce. However, that trip was anything but cute. After already humiliating myself by accidentally running into a man in a wheelchair (more than once), I was further humiliated by the tantrum Jonah threw in the store over not getting the treat he wanted (If you must know, it was gummy bears and yes I'm a mean mom for wanting to get the yogurt raisins that were on sale...hey, I thought I was being nice just for letting them have a treat in the first place!). Needless to say, we went home without any treat at all and Jonah screaming very angrily the whole way home, "Turn around! Right now! We're going back to the store!" And then when he could see I wasn't turning back and we were nearing home, "It's my turn to drive! I'm driving back to the store!" And it only got worse from there. After sending him to time-out didn't work, I picked him up and took him to his room where he then proceeded to throw books at me, hit me and yell, "Mom! You're STUPID!"...more than once. He even had Ellie yelling back at him, "No. You're stupid." It was horrible. How do you not take that personally? And how the heck do you handle it? I tried very hard not to lose my temper, I tried to talk nicely but firmly about what his options were and the consequences that would follow...I tried and I tried, but it was probably an hour before anything was even close to being resolved. And then there's still the fact that he said those hurtful things to me and I'm wondering, "Where did I go wrong? How am I such a bad mom that he would do such things?"
Oh yeah, and this morning were Jonah and Ellie's first swim lessons of the summer which they screamed through and tried to run away from (Ellie made it all the way back to the car) while I forced them back and tried to keep Charlotte from falling in the pool.
On an up note, Charlotte's taking steps! Oh Charlotte! How I really, really love you today!
Just trying to stay positive because after talking to Jonah for an hour about choices and consequences I realize that's the only logical choice for me to make.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
What I Believe
Super Gibson
Family
Friends
- Barrett and Nicole
- Brandon and Cindy
- Brandon and Elizabeth
- Brent and Emily
- Brent and Niki
- Chris and Lolly
- Daron and Heather
- Don and Heather
- Jenner
- Jesse and Joni
- Jill
- John and Erika
- Katie
- Katy
- Kelli
- Kendra
- Lara
- Matt and Dawn
- Nicspics
- Scott and Tiffany
- Sean and Trixie
- Shawni
- SuperGibson
- Travis and Andrea
12 comments:
hang in there ames. i too have had those moments where i wonder what i have done wrong. but i have come to learn that kids just say things like this. will has gotten angry at me many times...bringing me to tears at times. how can a 4 yr old hurt my feelings like this? fact is...as mothers we have the hard job of being the bad guy on a lot of things like: treats, sharing, time-outs, discipline etc. i just try and remember that he doesn't really mean what he is saying and that he doesn't know how else to deal with it. but knowing this doesn't excuse the harsh words.
sometimes i actually have to sit down with him while tears are running down my cheeks and tell him that we are "friends"! that we are in this together and we need to be nice to each other. i am still working on all this obviously.
i makes me feel better to just cry sometimes--i think it also helps for will to see that he really did hurt my feelings. not that you want to cry...but sometimes days are just like that aren't they?
another thing i do (man, it sure seems like this is a usual event in my house! thankfully, it is rare!) is just go into my bedroom and close the door. and i seriously count and breath deep.
jess usually talks to him as well if he yells at me.
you are a wonderful mom ames....i know because i watched you for a long time. unfortunately, mothers have to deal with some hurtful things but in the end jonah loves you and needs you...and even though he is 4 he knows these things.
i am still trying to internalize all these things because it is hard! and i am probably doing it all wrong but these things have worked for me and will to make up and start over. the good thing about these situations (if there is something good to come out of them) is that it is pretty normal. when i talk to my mom about it she just says "joni, he is a normal 4 yr old. don't take it personally, just leave the room and let him throw his fit by himself."
chin up babe...you're awesome. AND i wrote a flippin' novel!!!! hahahaha
tell the kids hi for us!
very soon you will have to give me the same advice as i am trying to deal with the "hard" days. :0)
Oh Amy, sounds like a rough time. I'm thinking all mom's probably will go through that at least once. I'm sure you handled it all very well.
you poor mama. been there. had those tantrums. and i've acutally hit a man in a wheelchair too - not a good memory, let me tell you. hang in there. every parent has those wonderful grocery store tantrums - Bella's are over not being able to get a balloon or a flower everytime we go. I just stopped taking them. Now I shop in peace... :)
Oh Amy.
My only suggestion would be to put the lock to the time out room on the outside. And then remove all sharp objects. And then eat some ice cream. Ben and Jerry's Phish Food works really well.
And then just remember that someday your children will have children.
...and cookies. cookies work pretty well too ;) thanks everyone for the advice and support! it helps to know i'm not alone!
I have had days where Esther and I just sit and cry together because we're both so upset at each other and she's only two! I can't imagine what may happen in two years! I don't know that I have any advice on the subject as I am still learning to control my temper; I was not blessed with patience. It's something I'm trying to develop. Here's a hug for you and just keep praying for help!
You are definitely not alone. I hear the stupid word all too often. Brooklynn even knows it and uses it when she's angry and I wonder where in the world I went wrong too. I wish I had a magical solution, but I have a 4 year old hard headed litle boy so we're still working on it. Hang in there! Can't wait to see you guys Tuesday.
It is a good thing kids are so cute when they are sleeping! I am LOL at your post and everyone's comments.
I haven't read all the comments but I know that we are all so glad you posted your riotous day for us. And I know we have all been there (or far worse!!) and some of us have handled it much less graciously. O.K., so probably on me, but I'm a child of God. It's all good.
Anyways, you "handled" it beautifully. Jonah is obviously brilliant. He knows how to get a reaction and keep you engaged in order to get what he wants. I loved that, "It's my turn to drive!" What a riot! And I can see you cool as a cucumber talking him through it.
And good on ya for keeping Charlotte alive through the whole swim lesson effort, before I forget.
You made a huge point that reaffirms my recently arrived at conviction that we as parents must take nothing personally except hugs and kisses.
Love you. Goodness girl you work hard.
Oh how I can relate to this post!! I think you are so great! No worries, you haven't done anything wrong--just a stage (at least that is what I keep telling myself ;-))
Yea Charlotte!!
oh my word, it's SO hard to stay positive when something like that happens! It's so hard not to get emotionally involved. I get so proud of myself because sometimes I can hold out SO long...and then, it happens, I completely SNAP. It happened today as a matter of fact. I turned into the wicked witch that I hate being. Anyway, good luck with that! You'll to great.
Would it be awful to tell you that when I read, "It's my turn to drive!" I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes?! Being several years removed from this stage of parenting, I can tell you that it definitely gets better. Oddly, reading this (and all your other posts) makes me miss having little kiddos around. I guess that's why every once in awhile we kick around the fostering idea, but it seems there's always a reason to not do it "right now".
Keep being a mom with a backbone. They will love you for it eventually (which usually turns out to be about 15 minutes), and turn out to be capable, compassionate, and disciplined teens and adults. And, yes, you're allowed to cry. :-) I love you!
Cassi
Post a Comment